People should rethink how we name ourselves.
The animal world has it figured out. Especially the birds. Their names are full of useful details. For example, the Yellow Bellied Sapsucker. Just by hearing the name, you know it has a yellow belly and it sucks sap. That’s a pretty good start. It’s the type of information that allows you to skip a whole bunch of small talk and move on to more interesting topics.
If people were naming birds today, they’d be lucky to be able to use anything more than just ‘bird.’
(I get it. I know the human world is moving in the opposite direction. We’re tired of details. We don’t like them anymore. Details can hurt people’s feelings and create bad situations. Take ‘partner’ for example. You used to be able to use words like husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, paramour, or WHATEVER! Not any more! Now it’s just partner. ‘I’d like you to meet my partner, Ted,’ you say. And now there is intrigue. I don’t know if you’re married, lovers, or if you own an Arby’s franchise together. IT’S WAY MORE FUN THIS WAY! And as we all know, it’s more important than ever to protect your DATA!)
Probably babies will soon just be named ‘human,’ or ‘person.’ It will be better that way.
(I think the main person in Dirty Dancing was named ‘Baby.’ But they were visionaries in all respects. We shouldn’t be surprised.)
Progress in the other direction relieves massive societal burden?
What if we go the other direction. Instead of naming them Jennifer, or Harry, we can start naming them based on physical characteristics and personal habits. Like we do with the birds. And names could shift over time. Or they could stick for life. Who knows! Either way, we’d have some info to go on, when first being introduced.
For example, a baby might be named: Pink-Faced Screamer. Or Yellow Haired Face Smasher.
Sure, maybe some feelings would get hurt here and there. Generic naming conventions are far safer. People are particularly sensitive these days.
But if it has a chance of cutting down on small talk, it’s worth thinking about.
SMALL TALK IS THE WORST! NEVER HAVE IT AGAIN!