I’m sure you know by now that gluten is pretty much the devil of all foods. Everybody hates it. Everybody is banning it from their diets. And for good reason! Science says not to touch it with a ten foot pole.
And it’s a great time in the world to be going gluten-free. More and more restaurants are serving up gluten-free options. Things at most grocery stores are labeled with GF signs and stickers. Even candy and junk food makes a big deal on their packaging that they are Gluten-free!
You can even choose from a million different kinds of flour. You can now bake with flour made from rice, beans, tapioca, coconuts, almonds. You name it! (We’ll have to wait and see whether the FDA thinks we can accurately call them ‘flour.’ But that’s an investigation for another day.) So many different powders for you to eat!
But look what I found tucked in there right in the middle of the Gluten-free flour section.
That’s right. The dark lord himself. Pure 100% gluten! In a bag!
YOU CAN COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT THERE!
Which brings us to the best thing about the world. No matter how strongly you believe something, and how well you’ve researched it, and how convincing your science is, there is someone out there that believes the exact opposite. And they’ve researched the crap out of their side. And their science looks super rigorous and convincing to them.
Hey, TO EACH THEIR OWN! DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS!
But actually, as much as it’s nice to say that, there is really only one right answer. (Just like only one team can win the superbowl every year.) If you’re looking for immortality, at least. And I have it.
EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD WRONG! AND SOON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER WILL REMOVE THEM FROM THE INTERNET! AND WE CAN FINALLY LIVE IN PEACE!