We learned yesterday that pretty much everything you don’t like that’s going on out there can be blamed on the vegetarians.
It’s not totally their fault. Sometimes you think you’re doing the right thing and it backfires. C’EST LA VIE!
Science says that they (you?) eat those weird fake meats and it can lead to bad decision making. Especially when it counts the most. Elections in particular are when things can go haywire. You need to have your wits about you when you step behind the voting curtain. But there are other times, too, when your simple bad decisions can spawn out into big consequences for other people. Steve Jobs is a prime example. He switched to fruit and look at all these dumb phones he got people hooked on so that they waste their lives.
Today we’re all asking: What can we do about it?
Yeah, what can we do about it?
The first and most important thing to realize is that you can’t turn back time. What’s done is done. You can spend the rest of your life beating yourself up about who you voted for. But that won’d change anything! LIVE WITH IT!
Once you’ve done that, you can move on to step 2: Steak and eggs.
All day every day. You need to have your brain firing on all cylinders. YOU CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE CHANCES! YOU’VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS!
‘But where do I go right now for steak and eggs?’ you ask.
If you want the best, there’s only one answer: IHOP
I know what you’re thinking: ‘Don’t they only serve pancakes?’ WRONG! Their menu has been updated to match the times. They now have great chinese food. And not only your favorite T-Bone steak and eggs, but also Sirloin tips and eggs, which sounds very fancy (BECAUSE IT’S THE TIP. OF THE SIRLOIN! THAT’S THE MOST SACRED PART OF THE MOST SACRED PART OF THE COW!) SO YOU’RE ALL SET. Although you’ll have to feel the flapjacks and hashbrowns to your pets. But whatever! Wasting a bit of food is a small price to pay to get your mind back.
But what about the carnivores?
Yeah. What about the carnivores? I THOUGHT THEY WERE THE WORST PEOPLE IMAGINABLE WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT EITHER THEMSELVES, OR ABOUT KILLING THINGS, OR ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT! That’s a bad combination!
Yes, the carnivores among us shouldn’t be getting all high and mighty. Look at the Tuna, for instance. If they would eat pressed corn and soy pellets like the rest of us, they wouldn’t accumulate so much mercury. And then we could eat Sushi again!